Dear Second-Years,
It's hard to believe that you're almost done with the program and that I'm almost finished with my first year. I remember seeing you all for the first time and getting the impression that teaching was a snap. You seemed so confident and at ease. Now that I'm about to be in your place, I want to ask you something. How in the world did you manage to pull off the whole confidence and ease gag? Not that you guys aren't amazing, but now that I'm about to take your place, I see how helpless you can still feel after teaching for a whole year (not that a year is a long time in the scheme of things). I'm still looking for answers, and I now realize that you must have been as well. I can't imagine what the new crop of second-years will see when they look at me; hopefully I'll be able to give them the same comfort that you gave me.
There is one thing that I think makes your class different from mine that I want to say thank you for. You guys were completely honest, almost to the point of being too graphic. I was shaking in my little closed-toe shoes by the end of the summer, what with hearing your personal stories and reading old blog entries and all. Thank you. You guys weren't lying about how dreadfully painful and terrible teaching can be. It sucks most days. Because you let it all hang out, I didn't feel the need to bottle it all up. Because you admitted that you did a bad job most of the time, I can admit that I'm doing a bad job every second of every day. And for someone like me, that means the world. To know that I'm not alone in misery gives me hope that I'm not a complete failure, that I can do a better job next year. So even though your failures sucked for you, thanks for having them so that I didn't have to feel like the only one.
There are a few special individuals who deserve my sincerest gratitude:
The people I rarely got to see but really admired, Angela, Karl, Peter M., and Heather. You are the people that bring a smile to my face, even though I seldom had the opportunity to see you. Angela, you share my love of Arrested Development, and riding back from Jackson with you provided me with one of the best, most encouraging conversations of my time in MTC. Karl, you're.....just so lovable. I'm no even sure there's a specific reason for why I like you so much. I just do. Peter, you never seemed bothered by how much I hate people. Maybe I'll see you in D.C. again someday. Heather, I'll never forget the first thing you said to me, when I asked how you liked the program. You said, "No, I hated it." Wow. I couldn't have had a better summer roommate. You were honest and helpful. Thank you!
My Second-Years, Cary and Austin. You guys were amazing. You taught me how to teach, you showed me two different energies in the classroom (and how they're both necessary), you gave me encouraging advice, and you made me do a lot of work on my own. Those things made the difference. When I think back to our classroom, I'm amazed at how great it was, how smoothly it ran. I know that that's because of your leadership. You guys created the perfect yin and yang for our team, so I'm grateful to you for being yourselves. Thursday night dinners were the highlight of my summer.
My mentor, Michele. You are the most organized and creative person in the world, and I have only benefited from it. Thank you for all the millions of resources, classroom ideas, and management tricks. And thanks for being my friend. The Delta drives, photography trip, delicious meals, and great conversations were so encouraging. I am also thankful to have met your daughter, who is just as intelligent and interesting as her mother. I never dreamed that I would find an art friend in the program, much less someone who also teaches literature. Being your mentee has been the greatest privilege a first-year could have.
My fellow Byhalia Indians (and friends), Molly and Sam. It's funny to think that I'd never really known any Jews until MTC and then you two become my closest friends (even though you're only half a Jew, Sam). All I can think to say for myself is MOZEL TOV! Good fortune, indeed! Molly, thank you for having the energy and positivity that I don't. You cleaned up after me (ahem, ahem), you made copies for me, you took in sub stuff, you listened to me vent, you made me be positive, you made me cookies, you made me be a little social, and so much more. I know that wherever you end up next year, you will be fine because you have a way gliding through the messiest situations in life with the poise and grace that only a southern woman can.
Sam, the only thing you're good for is Brin. She is gorgeous and interesting, and I feel complete when I stare into her big brown eyes. Okay, so maybe Brin is the best dog in the world, but she's not the only good thing about you. You're pretty great, too. Thank you for leaving all those piles of worksheets in my classroom; I use them almost every day now. Thank you for telling me over and over again that your first year sucked worse than mine; the goodness of your second year helps me know that I will get better at this. Thank you for taking me to Costco; those hot dogs, chocolate cakes, and random other moderately priced goods have changed my life. Thank you for all the fun we had hanging out with the pack; those laid back moments helped me through the worst of it. Thank you for laughing at our kids with me; you helped me see the good in them when all I wanted to see was the bad. It has been so much fun teaching these 7th grade fools with you. We laughed, you watched me cry. That'll do, pig, that'll do.
